Downtown Brown is a light brown ale created by the Lost Coast Brewery of Eureka, California. It’s quite smooth, but also has a full taste–similar in some ways to Newcastle and other more well-known brown ales. It’s got hops, but not so much that a novice beer drinker would find it too bitter. All in all, an excellent, well-round microbrewed ale. And the bottle art is pretty awesome, too. Pick some up if you can find it where you are.
Ayinger Ur-Weisse is a Bavarian dunkel weizen (dark wheat beer). It is brewed in the traditional German style, heavy on the barley but not too hoppy. This leads to a smooth, creamy taste. Overall, Ayinger’s dunkel weizen is a good solid beer, and would probably go great with some bratwurst or schnitzel.
However, there is a downside. This is a rather expensive beer, at least in the United States, and while it is good it is not the best of its kind. Thus far my favorite dunkel weizen is made by Augustiner, although I also purchased a Franziskaner dunkel weizen which will be reviewed later this week.
Bottom line: If you see Ayinger on sale, pick some up. It’s a good beer by any standard. But given the price I purchased it at, there is better for cheaper.
So a couple of days ago, I dropped $40 on eight beers. The cheapest of them was $2, the most expensive nearly $11. As such, I’ve decided to do a series of “Platinum” Booze Reviews, on expensive, high-class alcohol. This will last at least until such time as I’ve finished my beer. First up: Ruddles County.
When Einstein died and arrived at the gates of heaven, St. Peter wouldn’t let him in until he proved his identity. Einstein scribbled out a couple of his equations, and was admitted into paradise.
And when Picasso died, St. Peter asked, “How do I know you’re Picasso?”
Picasso sketched out a couple of his masterpieces. St. Peter was convinced and let him in.
When George W. Bush died, he went to heaven and met the man at the gates. “How can you prove to me you’re George W. Bush?” Saint Peter said.
Bush replied, “Well heck, I don’t know.”
St. Peter says, “Well, Albert Einstein showed me his equations and Picasso drew his famous pictures. What can you do to prove you’re George W. Bush?”
Bush replies, “Who are Albert Einstein and Picasso?”
St. Peter says, “It must be you, George, c’mon on in.”
If you currently do not have a hot girlfriend or have never had one, then you are the problem. Change yourself with these helpful hints and you are sure to get some hot babes crawling all over you. [Note: The lower number means that rule is more important, e.g., rule #1 is the most important, followed by rule #2, etc.]
Rule #1: Stop being yourself. As mentioned above, yourself sucks. If you are reading this article, you probably want to grab some hot girlfriend ass, but you can’t because you don’t have a hot girlfriend. Solution: Do an Obama and change!
Rule #2: Stop being poor. If you are rich, you can get any girl you want. You can just buy women. Not all women can be bought (most of them can), but let’s not get too picky… We just want to get you one hot girlfriend to start with.
Rule #3: Stop having a small penis. If you have a small penis a girl is going to have sex with you and not feel anything, if you even convince her to have sex with you in the first place. Stop having a small penis right now! Wishful thinking is your best tool here. You gotta think really had though. Go!
Rule #4: Stop being skinny/fat/nerdy. All of these can be fixed with enough protein and weight lifting. Go chow down on a pound of tofu and do 500 push ups. Maybe then you will be too tired to care that you do not have a hot girlfriend.
Rule #5: Stop being nice. Women (at least the hot ones) hate nice men. Treat them like crap and they will keep coming back. They are masochistic little creatures.
[Picture by Brandon Shigeta]