College Being

There was this man and his wife who had gone abroad on holiday and had a great two weeks. At the end of the holiday they had two animals that they wanted to bring back to the U.K.: a snake and a skunk.

They were trying to figure out ways of getting them through customs and into the U.K., without getting caught. The snake was no problem. The wife just suggested he put it down the front of his trousers and if customs said anything, he should just say that he was well endowed. Problem solved.

But they just couldn’t decide on where to put the skunk. After about five hours and getting nowhere the husband just said, “Look, there’s only one thing for it, you’ll just have to put it inside your knickers,” to which the wife replies, “Yes, but what about the smell?”

And the husband says, “Well if it dies, it dies.”

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A little boy goes to his dad and asks, “What is politics?”

Dad says, “Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I’m the breadwinner of the family, so let’s call me Capitalism. Your mom, she’s the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the Government. We’re here to take care of your needs, so we’ll call you the People. The nanny, we’ll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we’ll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense.” So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents’ room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny’s room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, “Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.” The father says, “Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.”

The little boy replies, “Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit.”

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For the last installment of Booze Reviews Platinum, I have saved the best (and most expensive) of my beers–the St. Bernardus Abt. 12. This is a Trappist abbey ale brewed in the small monastery town of Watou, Belgium. This is a dark, rich beer that has a full flavor (and clocks in at over 10% ABV) without the overbearing molasses taste of something like the SBC Russian Imperial Stout. It’s much smoother and easier to drink than most beers in its class. In fact, I enjoyed it even more than Spaten Optimator, my previous favorite high-alcohol beer. It should be poured into a goblet-style glass and consumed slowly (especially if you’re planning on driving anywhere for a while). Also, it comes in a bitchin’ 750ml bottle with a champagne-style cork and cage and a smiling monk on the front.

The only problem with this beer is its price. At $11 for the 750ml bottle, it is for most of us a rare splurge. But if you happen to have an extra few bucks, and a liquor store where this is available, give the St. Bernardus Abt. 12 a try. It’s one of the best beers I’ve ever tasted, and worth the money.

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