College Being

Hi everyone! It has definitely been awhile since I’ve last posted. Sorry about that. I had finals that kicked my ass so hard that I couldn’t shit correctly for days. Ew gross…I know, think about how I felt. Anyway for today, I was actually going to write a rant about my sufferings during finals and the injustice that the world has just served me, but I won’t. I found something that made me feel a lot better about myself. So the story goes like this. My roommate came home at 4pm last night (completely not drunk…) to tell me about this boy. Here’s the entire article quoted. It’s simply too good to just summarize for you.

A 13 year old boy from Texas is convicted of fraud after using his Father’s credit cards to hire escorts.

A 13 year old from Texas who stole his Dad’s credit card and ordered two hookers from an escort agency, has today been convicted of fraud and given a three year community order.

Ralph Hardy, a 13 year old from Newark, Texas confessed to ordering an extra credit card from his father’s existing credit card company, and took his friends on a $30,000 spending spree, culminating in playing “Halo” on an Xbox with a couple of hookers in a Texas motel.

The credit card company involved said it was regular practice to send extra credit cards out as long as all security questions are answered.

The escort girls who were released without charge, told the arresting officers something was up when the kids said they would rather play Xbox than get down to business.

Police said they were alerted to the motel by a concerned delivery clerk, whom after delivering supplies of Dr Pepper, Fritos and Oreos had been asked by the kids where they could score some chicks and were willing to pay. They explained they had just made a big score at a “World of Warcraft” tournament and wanted to get some relaxation. On noting the boys age the delivery clerk informed the authorities.

When police arrived at the motel they found $3,000 in cash, numerous electronic gadgets, an Xbox video console with numerous games, and the two local escort girls.

Ralph had reportedly told police that his father wouldn’t mind, as it was his birthday last week and he had forgot to get him a present. The father, a lawyer said he had been too busy, but would take him on a surprise trip to Disneyland instead.

Asked why he ordered two escorts, Ralph said he thought it was the thing to do when you win a “World of Warcraft” tournament. They told the suspicious working girls they were people of restricted growth working with a traveling circus, and as State law does not allow those with disabilities to be discriminated against they had no right to refuse them.

The $1,000 a night girls sensing something up played “Halo” on the Xbox with the kids, instead of selling their sexual services.

Ralph’s ambition is to one day become a politician.

Why would you get 2 x $1000 hookers and not fuck them?

So, I had to think about this for a long long time because it just did not make sense to me. I would’ve been on top of those overpriced bitches in under a minute (who cares if I’m a woman, right?) especially if I had to pay $1000 for them. Come on, for $1000/night, the hookers must have been smokin’ hott. I came up with few reasons why they would not sleep with a hooker, just for kicks:

5. STD’s

4. They did not want to cheat on their imaginary girlfriends.

3. They were scared to lose their virginities.

2. Even though they were not Asian, they had small penis’, so they were afraid of being laughed at.

1. They couldn’t decide who would go first (which I understand…sloppy seconds sounds very undesirable).

Check out the original article.