College Being

[Editor’s Note: Although all opinions expressed on College Being are those of our individual authors, we were paid a fee to write the following article. This fee will not influence our opinions.]

Here is the run-down on this week’s episode of Glory Daze for those that missed it. If you have not seen the series, be sure to read our introduction to this great show here.

The pledges are woken-up in the middle of the night by the frat brothers. Joel is studying for a test and his roommate screams a lot. The frat brothers let the boys know that there is a very important football tournament coming up and that they all must practice hard. When practicing, Eli who is “too small to play football” surprises everyone with his incredible dodging ability. Brain, though not as big of a surprise, shows everyone what an incredible quarterback he is. As soon as Brain throws the ball, his assistance baseball coach, who appears to have been following him, tells Brain that he cannot play football due to the danger of getting injured and preventing him from playing baseball. Everyone is disappointed.

Joel gets a job as a landscaper to make some extra money to pay his fraternity dues but accidentally cuts of the head of a grass bunny (a hedge cut into a rabbit shape) when distracted by Christie. Due to spending too much time practicing for football and at his new job, Joel gets his first D D+. Joel now need to make a decision on whether he is going to leave the fraternity to focus on pre-med.

Professor Haines learns the divorce attorney is having an affair with his wife, is wearing his shirts, and worst of all, support Reagan.

The frat boys easily win their first football match due to Eli and start getting prepared for their next match against the Zeta Roes. Damon gets “smurfed” (painted blue) by the Zeta Roes. A prank war ensues where both frats start to “shant” each other. As we learn from the episode, “shanting” someone is to deliver them a nice package of dog poop wrapped in aluminium foil. The prank war ends when the school’s dean gets a shant in his pocket and his young son finds it and starts to dig in. Both fraternities are immediately suspended from the tournament. The two frats meet to discus some possible alternatives and agree to a “mud bowl” football match. Eli learns that the scheduled match is on Yonkapur so he will not be able to play.

The match begins and Jason sings the national anthem and cheerleads on the sidelines. The boys start to lose fast. During the last 5 seconds of the game, they need to make one more touchdown. Unfortunately, the touchdown line is 70 yards away, quite a long distance for a single play. Eli and his rabbi are talking and notice the sun go behind a tree. The rabbi says, “close enough” and tells Eli to go play the last play. Meanwhile, Joel gets Brain from the audience and Brain becomes the quarterback for the last play. The play starts. Brain gets the football to Eli who runs and dodges until he is almost at the touchdown line. He then suddenly faints due to not eating for the entire day. The boys lose the match but are happy anyway.

During the last scene, Professor Hains shants the attorney’s car.

Be sure to catch Glory Daze Tuesday nights at 10/9c on TBS.